If God’s So Good, Why Am I Still Single?

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Hello-MyNameIsSingle

“Trusting God’s goodness can be difficult. Surely if He knew me, we say, He would know I don’t want to stay single the rest of my life.  If He were as loving and concerned as He says He is, He would guide us to the person we want to be with. . .

The issue of singleness and marriage is big enough to make or break our faith.  We find it difficult to accept that we’re precious to God when He doesn’t give us what we think we need.  We find that our will collides with God’s.  But God has planned our lives carefully and intimately.  Are we willing to surrender our will to His?  Even though we wrestle, it’s possible to come to appreciate God’s will and presence in our lives, and to find that Abba knows best.”

– Skip McDonald in “And She Lived Happily Ever After: Finding Fulfillment as a Single Woman” (InterVarsity Press, 2005)

Our Deepest Hurt Comes from Our Greatest Love

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IntimacyWithGod

“Some of our deepest hurts are incurred within the context of our most intimate relationships.  When we give ourselves completely to another and that person loves us back, we experience bliss.  But what if we give ourselves completely and meet with rejection?  Or what if we are loved for a time and then abandoned?  How do we deal with the memory of such rejection?  How do we deal with the wounds we incur? Continue reading →

Overlooking Singles in the Church

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overlooked

“Given the fact that 46 percent of the United States population over the age of fifteen was single at the beginning of the twenty-first century, the neglect and distortion of the state of singleness by the Western church is anything but justified.  Although most will eventually marry, statistics indicate that a growing number will never do so, and many who do will find themselves single once again because of divorce or the death of a spouse.  For these reasons, and in light of the fact that many of the heroes of the Christian faith have been single (including Jesus) — not to mention the scriptural teaching that singleness can be a gracious gift of God (Matt. 19:11-12; 1 Cor. 7:7) — the contemporary church stands in urgent need of reappraising its stance on the issues of singleness.”

– Dr. Andreas Kostenberger (Professor of New Testament, Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary) in “Marriage and the Family: Biblical Essentials” (Crossway, 2012)

What Completes You?

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incomplete

“Let’s be honest.  Many of us at some time in our lives have felt as though something is missing. All of us have struggled with loneliness.  We’ve all felt detached, unaccepted, separated from the group we’d like to be part of.  And when we find ourselves in this empty space, we typically search outside ourselves — often compulsively — for something or someone to fill it.  We shop, we drink, we eat, we do anything and everything to distract ourselves from the pain of feeling alone.  Most of all, we tell ourselves, If I find the right person, my life will be complete. Too bad it’s not that simple.  If it were, we’d have friends that never failed us and marriages that never fractured.  The truth is, the cause of our emptiness is not a case of missing persons in our lives, but a case of incompletion in our soul.

I order to build healthy relationships, you must be well on your way to becoming whole or complete.  You must be establishing wholeness, a sense of self-worth, and a healthy self-concept.”

– Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott in “Relationships: An Open & Honest Guide to Making Bad Relationships Better & Good Relationships Great” (Zondervan, 1998)

Do You Trust Jesus. . .With Your Dating Life?

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trust-jesus

“Let me ask you: do you trust Jesus?  Do you believe that He truly has your best interests at heart, that He would never mislead you — that if you follow His advice, you’re setting yourself up for the best, most meaningful, and most fulfilling life imaginable?  Can you count on Him knowing what He’s talking about?  Do you think it’s possible that the second most important decision you’ll ever make (other than your commitment to follow Christ) — who you marry — should be based on Jesus’ most fundamental agenda for our lives: seeking first God’s kingdom and righteousness?  Do you believe every significant decision we make should be run through this grid?  If our choice of marital partner is no exception, what wouldn’t qualify as an exception?  If Jesus’ words aren’t relevant for such a crucial decision, why would they have any importance in any lesser decision?”
– Best Selling Author Gary Thomas in “The Sacred Search” (2013, David C. Cook)

A Single Plea

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surrender

“My most earnest of all pleas to singles is abandonment of the self, surrender to Christ of all unfulfilled longings, an unequivocal willingness to receive whatever God assigns, and a determination to practice the sacrificial principle of Isaiah 58:10-11. Life becomes not only far simpler, but surprisingly joyful and free.” — Elisabeth Elliot

Why Don’t Churches Do More to Reach Single Adults?

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Lonliest

If the number of single adults is increasing at such an alarming rate, why aren’t more churches intentionally reaching out to those who are legally divorced, widowed, or have never married?

From “On Mission” Magazine (Fall 2012) citing a report on “CBS Sunday Morning” (May 20, 2012).